Faithfully Lupe

Snot. Drool. The occasional poop that smears on my hands from having two boys in diapers still.

If I had told myself after writing (while reminiscing) “Nostalgia” that I’d be here now, 3 kids, I would laugh with complete fear of this future!

I remember about 5 years ago sitting in the living room of my 2 bedroom apartment watching TV and a thought suddenly came to me “you better enjoy this calm and quiet time because the future can bring a lot for you!”

Thinking back on it now, I remember it was like hearing my own voice saying it to myself but it wasn’t me. Is that what it’s like when you hear God speak to you? No se, pero I heard it loud and clear.

So basically here I am with two more kids, two very wild but adorable little boys!

I remember Mr. Nostalgia (see post: Nostalgia Part 2) saying to me when he was breaking my heart “If I see you sometime in the future and our paths cross, I’ll smile because I know it was the right thing. I know you want more children, but I don’t. I’m at a point in my life that I cannot focus on growing a family. I want my career to grow. I saw the look in your eyes when I said I didn’t want anymore children & I can’t change that, because years from now you’ll resent me for it.”

He was right, I did want more kids and I wanted them with the right man. I thought he was the right man. But only God knows what our future holds and oh man, does God know for sure how broken I felt back then. I did have the right man, but the man I needed right there in that moment. The man who would make me grow into a much better woman, but on my own.

Snot, drool and stinky diapers is what I have going on now. My days go by so fast since I have 3 other humans who depend on me: a teenager and two toddlers. WOW, the triple T. That just made me smile nervously as I typed it. It’s so insane knowing I, a basic “B”, am a mother to three very intelligent, kinda and talented kiddos. I get up everyday to do laundry, clean, feed, bathe, play Uber driver, cheer on my kids at dance/basketball classes. And when the day is done, I like to watch novellas while I sweep and mop the “lava.” Lava, that’s what I tell my middle son is on the floor so he sits still on the couch.

I love my faith, I love my God, I love knowing my life is made for just me. Right now, my life is taking me on new adventures with two small boys, failing miserably at taming a teen, and navigating being a partner who I have to share my life decisions with. After doing the decision making and sharing my living space with only one other human, it is definitely an adjustment I have to make daily.

So dear Faithfully Lupe from 2015, your future is what you pray for. It’s not an easy road to get here nor is it an easy one to navigate. But you are better here even though you dont believe it. Girl, trust me, you’re going to be good, keep leaning on the Lord!

Oh wait, but “who is their daddy?” I know you want to know that. If you dont already know. Stick around, I will share that story as I continue to bring you up to speed on mi vida.

Stay faithful,

Lupe