Faithfully Lupe

She may ask for “just one more day” but I ask for one more lifetime! 

My first born recently shared her college essay with me & it never ceases to amaze me how creative & intelligent she is.

For 13 years it was just her & I. We had all the love & support of my parents & sister of course but at the end of the day when we went to sleep, there was just her & I among the silence of the night. Our first apartment was a one bedroom and although she had her little bed right next to mine she always made her way into mine. I remember one night laying down with her & she said “I love you like a heart” as she held her little hands in the shape of a heart. 

We had so many amazing “mommy and baby” times that we enjoyed spending together! But make no mistake we had our difficult periods of navigating mother daughter relationships. 

Her biological father is only now a memory because he chose not to be an active parent for her and that put up a lot of hurdles for us to go over. All glory to God, it made our relationship so much stronger facing those together. Regardless of her biological father making that regrettable choice, I can assure you there is no shortage of love & appreciation for who she is from those of us who have chosen to stay and be present for her. Even from the one who has proudly stepped into the role she now calls “Dad.” Her dry sense of humor, quick wit, zest for life, and mature yet gentle demeanor are a reflection of the love her Dad has poured into her. That mutual love and respect between them is so strong that her three younger siblings will never see themselves as “half” anything. To them, and to her, they are simply siblings—nothing more, nothing less. Bound by love, not blood, our family’s bond is unshakable.

Navigating that difficulty in younger years of life has shaped her into the kind, compassionate, wise young lady she is. The relationship she shares not only with her Dad but also with her family and friends is a testament to the remarkable young woman she has become—mature, intelligent, and full of grace. Her kindness and strength shine through in every connection she nurtures. For those who choose not to embrace or respect the incredible person she is, they are simply missing out on the privilege of knowing her

Today she turns 18. A whole adult! So I definitely am in a nostalgic phase. I’ll scroll through pictures in my phone or Facebook albums that I have of her when she was little and get very emotional because of how innocent and sweet of a spirit she had. She was shy at making friends. Never really knowing what crowd she connected with. I have a home video she recorded on my mom’s phone when she was about seven years old. In it, she’s speaking to an “audience”—who, I have no idea. This was before vlogging, reels, or YouTube were even a thing. But there she is, looking straight into the camera, saying, “You’re just as perfect as anyone else. Don’t worry! My mom told me, ‘Don’t try to be a different person. Be yourself!’”

Even at that young age, she knew she didn’t want to follow the crowd. She wanted to be unique, genuine, and true to herself—and she’s carried that mindset ever since.

I used to worry but now that she has found her voice, I understand that she was selective. She knew at a very young age that the energy people bring rubs off on you. And she has always wanted to surround herself with focused, driven and goal getters! 

She is all of that herself and more.

I like to call her an old soul. We have many conversations about things ranging from friendships to politics to religion. And although there is a 20 year age gap between her and I, we have a mutual respect and an openness to share our own opinions without feeling judged by the other. 

But no, our relationship is not perfect. We have moments of bickering and I think that is finally going to pay off for her. She is interested in pursuing a career as a lawyer. Ahhh the arguing is finally going to pay off. We have worked hard at figuring out how to take those hard moments into teachable ones. It helps us communicate and continue to respect those boundaries we set.

Entering this new chapter of her life will undoubtedly bring its own challenges and triumphs, but one thing remains certain: my love for her and the support I give will never waver. If anything, it will only grow stronger. These days, our conversations often feel like those between close friends, yet we maintain clear boundaries and respect them. That’s something many adults—however well-meaning—struggle to understand. Boundaries are not personal attacks; they are acts of self-care and protection. The boundaries my SJ has established are for her peace, and while I may not always like them, I wholeheartedly respect them.

She is living her life, not mine. She is building her own values and morals, and I trust her to do so. It’s not my place to impose my beliefs or try to control her journey—that only creates the risk of rebellion or discord. Instead, I celebrate her independence. I don’t like to take credit for her accomplishments, but if there’s one thing I am proud of, it’s how I raised her. I allowed her to find her own style while teaching her to value herself. I let her enjoy the music she connects with while introducing her to West Coast beats and bidi bidi cumbias! I’ll never forget the day she said, “Oh, Selena, like Selena Gomez?” I quickly corrected her: “No, honey. Selena Gomez, like Selena.” Don’t play with me about Selena.

Dance, though. Dance has been her passion from the time she was two years old, when I first took her to a Mommy and Me class. Dance has always been something I love, but she found her own unique love for it—without me ever having to push. She isn’t just a dancer; she’s an artist who tells a story. Her talent far surpasses mine, and I couldn’t be prouder.

A dancing lawyer—that’s my baby girl. Whatever path she chooses, I know she’ll excel. She’ll show up, and she’ll shine. I have complete faith in her abilities and confidence in everything she’s striving to achieve. She’s worthy of every success and joy that comes her way. 

As I watch her grow, spreading her wings and embracing the life she’s creating, a part of me can’t help but wish for just one more day. One more day of twirling in the living room, of Mommy and Me classes, of late-night talks about dreams and music. Just one more day to hold her as my little girl before I cheer her on as the incredible woman she’s becoming.

But I know that every “just one more day” has led to this—her independence, her brilliance, her resilience. And while I may miss those moments, I am endlessly grateful for the days ahead, watching her thrive and knowing she carries with her all the love and lessons we’ve shared.

Baby girl, wherever life takes you, I’ll always be here, holding on to those “just one more day” memories while celebrating every step of your journey. If you’re ever tempted to forget how loved you are, how worthy you are, I hope you come back to this & remember, God leads the way & mom will have your back. Happy 18th Birthday! 

Faithfully your mom & biggest supporter,

Lupe